I’ve been putting off blogging for a while now. As always, I’ve been incredibly busy–but moreover, I just haven’t felt like it. I haven’t felt like reading, or blogging, even when I did have the time and energy. It’s Ramadan and also the end of high school for me and I’ve been much more preoccupied with actual…life. As of right now I’m really not as interested in the things I used to be when I blogged constantly.
And it kind of hurts to say this, because I’ve been ignoring the truth in my head for so long, but I don’t think I’m going to be blogging much on here anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever quit, or stop entirely. I might post something once a month or when I feel like it. But as of right now–where I am in life–I just am not feeling it. Besides not wanting to read in general, I need to work on improving my life before college starts. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I need to do, and thinking about blogging is only stressing me out.
Not to mention, at this point, the spark that was in my old posts is almost gone. It’s just me. As much as I try to not think about it, I’ve been really unhappy the past couple months. I could even generalize and say the last couple years. I need to be more thankful, I need to change my mindset…I can’t read and blog happily when I’m like this. Maybe I’m making the wrong choice–maybe I need to get back into these things to force my head out of this. But I still think this post needed to be written because I like closure. I like making sure people know what’s up even if I do eventually come back to blogging. Without writing this I would feel like I left blogging with a gap, with emptiness. It’s time for me to accept the fact that I’m moving on. I can’t act like I’m the same person I was four years ago when I first made this blog.
That being said, this blog has also added a lot to my life. For so many years it’s what I turned to when I needed to rant or be excited about something. I wrote about it on my college applications. It was my hobby, my thing. That’s why it feels so weird to say I don’t think it’s my thing anymore. And quite frankly, I don’t know what my “thing” is right now. I need some time to figure things out for myself, to get a new hobby that doesn’t involve staring at a computer screen.
So–for now, this is some closure, mainly for myself rather than anyone else. If you took the time to read this, thank you. If not–this was for me, anyway, so oh well.