Hey guys! Today I wanted to write about something that might get a bit “deep”, because I want to tell you how much (and why) I miss reading so much. I know I say this in virtually every post, talking about how little I read and how I want to read more. And I’m completely, 100%, no-exaggerating serious.
Guys, I miss being able to avidly read so much.
For so long, reading has been my escape. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Especially 8th grade, when I felt down, I went and read. And read and read and read and read. In fact, I think it wasn’t that good of an idea because it caused some of my problems to grow even more, but nonetheless, they made sure I wasn’t completely lost.
See the thing is, reading is my way of coping with things. Had a bad day? Read. Did something wrong? Read. Reading took me away, even if I hated the book, and just for a little while, I felt special, in that little corner of a book. Reading is one of the only things I do for fun. When I say “I read” when asked about a hobby, I’m pretty sure most don’t get that when I say I read, it means oh-gosh-I-love-reading-so-much-it’s-my-favorite-thing-to-do-and-it-keeps-me-going.
But now…I can’t read. I’m getting less than 5 hours of sleep, spending all my time studying or doing homework. How can I read if I’m not even sleeping? When I read, I like to be passionate about it. I don’t like for it to be passive. When I read, I give it all. I want the full experience. But this also means I can barely read. This year, I’ve only finished 3 books, and it truly breaks my heart.
I think this is why I try to distract myself with other things. I ache to read sometimes, and I practically forget the feeling of being so engrossed with a book. I’m trying to catch that feeling back now, since it’s break, but ten days isn’t nearly enough.
Anyway, I really wanted to tell you guys about this because I think not being able to read avidly in an avidly reading book community isn’t spoken enough. I love reading, but I can’t read, and I do wonder if anyone else feels the same way. So, if you do, let me know. Hopefully I’m not alone on this. 🙂
// // // // //